Alignment is a game-changer. If you get the concept of alignment, alignment will be your personal life-preserver always.
Even when your marriage is turned inside-out, as mine has been. Last week, after I shared with my community in my weekly #ThoughtRevolution that my husband Patrick had made the decision to move out of our home for a while (‘The Hardest #ThoughtRevolution Ever‘), I was on the receiving end of so many thoughtful and kind missives, so many of them from people I don’t even know, that were encouraging, hopeful, and offered wisdom for a troubled time.
Friends texted and called, and I couldn’t help but appreciate how open-hearted people can be when they see someone else take a hit. In the mix of there was one over-riding sentiment:
Janet said on the phone: Wow, you sound really great, I’m impressed.
Jeannot visited and told me: You’re doing so well. I’d be a mess.
Aron emailed: But how are you? Your social media posts are really upbeat.
Lisa texted: You are responsible for your own happiness (quoting my post back to me) but that doesn’t mean you don’t hurt.
As she is almost always, Lisa was right. There have been times in the last two weeks when I’ve been by myself and the sudden pain that rises up in me stings so much I fairly freeze. And it would be nice to hit social media and tell the world about it. And I was a mess, I did go off the grid for a while and I didn’t sound great at all because I couldn’t speak at all.
But whatever happens to you in life that hits you hard like what I’m experiencing, there remains a game changer called alignment. Alignment (our natural state of wellbeing; watch a happy baby, watch a dog enjoy a walk, watch someone burst out laughing), and doing whatever I can to guide myself back into that state no matter what, has proven to be the most authentic, peaceful, solution-ful, idea-ful, abundant and prosperous and love-filled place to go. In times of crisis, in times of anxiety, in times of worry, in times of frustration, in anger, or in times when I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
When I’m out of alignment I do whatever I have to to get back in. When I’m in alignment, I do whatever I have to to stay there.
Oprah calls it flow. In my interview with her earlier this year, she said, “The greatest lesson that I actually have to offer, I’m constantly try saying this to my (students in South Africa): ‘Be able to live in the flow that is the Universe’s space for you. Everybody has their own, and you can choose to swim upstream or you can get in alignment with the flow that is the core that connects you with the greater power in the universe.'”
As life suddenly crumbled at the end of August, I made the choice – once I was feeling well and done with my pity party – to get into alignment. As I wrote last week, when Patrick said he wanted to go, I went too, in a different way. I was not in alignment, not in flow; I was swimming upstream.
But when you are not in alignment it’s like tuning your dial to 680 NEWS when you want to hear soulful house music. You can’t receive what you want if your signal is tuned into what you don’t.
So the whole time I was out of alignment, I still knew: at some point, you have to get back into alignment if you want to survive and thrive. >Tweetable.
It was a choice that was waiting for me, and it’s a choice that is waiting for anyone, any time. Alignment is a game-changer, but it is must be your choice to change your game.
When I made my choice to return to who I really was, it meant I chose not to focus on what was going wrong, but instead focus on the positive aspects of what was going on. My negative thoughts have been reduced to almost nil. Meditating helps. Journaling helps. Dinner with friends where you don’t add energy to the situation by talking on and on about it helps. Deliberate appreciation until it’s almost a rampage of appreciation for what is right in the world and in life helps.
Alignment is a muscle that you develop. >Tweetable.
Your inner GPS tells you you are in or out of alignment by how you are feeling. If you are feeling like shit, at some point it your choice to be done with that.
I flex my alignment muscle during every waking hour right now because my authentic happiness – my goal no matter what, even a marriage upside down – doesn’t come to a guy who is talking, thinking, posting on social media how tremendously awful everything is.
In other words, yes, my dear pal Aron, I am upbeat on social media. I’m upbeat in my private moments. I’m upbeat because I want to feel upbeat and the way to feel upbeat is to be upbeat – and there you have… alignment.
Many will return to Lisa’s text and say, ‘Okay, so, just stop hurting?’ No, don’t. But choose not to stay there by adding to it. And keep it real, keep it organic, keep it gentle. You can’t go from pain to some fake-ass yippy-skippy do-dah dance, all Pollyanna. But as pain has seared my heart I have let myself feel it, but also allowed myself thoughts like:
“I am where I am, and that’s okay.”
“I like the idea of each day being less pain more ease and flow.”
“I love the feeling of thriving and I like the idea of feeling that again soon.”
Alignment, alignment, bit by bit, thought by thought.
Being in alignment doesn’t negate a situation, it doesn’t dismiss feelings, it is just a statement you make in the small and big moments when things toss you out of alignment that nothing is justification enough for you to spend much time out there. A declaration that you are such a believer in your own wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around you that you will find anything you can to focus on so that you feel better because better is ultimately what you want when life throws you that bitch slap: you want the sting to go away, you want to feel better.
I call alignment a game-changer because it is. Alignment changes you from losing the game to winning it. And then you get the fun stuff happening in your life before you know it. Read on:
I loved writing this post. Just writing about alignment put me in alignment more. Once I was done, I took Ella out for a walk. Right outside the door was a $20 bill and no one in sight. Into my pocket it went. Moments later, before I could leave the property, a lovely neighbour I don’t know but to whom I once told I loved her door wreath was calling me to come over.
She had the wreath in her hand. She told me she was changing her decor, and wanted to me to enjoy it now. More than a wreath I coveted, the kindness from a stranger felt like a lovely nod from the World saying: everything is going to be okay.
Good things come to those in alignment because in alignment you match the good things you want. >Tweetable.
Next Week: A #ThoughtRevolution as one reader writes: “My heart is very heavy with sadness, abandonment and betrayal from family. How do I move on?”
- Join Shaun here each week as his #ThoughtRevolution continues. Sign up and never miss a #ThoughtRevolution. It’s free and you’ll receive an exclusive gift: thought leader Panache Desai on our egos are our friends. Your MP3 copy arrives in your inbox within 24 hours of signing up.
- Related: More About Alignment
- If you liked this post, support it with a social share and if you want to add your ideas and comments, please go ahead below:
Add comment